Family Compute
by Perfectly-Imperfect1996
Summary: The Cullens are on an IM. This takes place in me and my BFF's alternate Twilight so couples are differnt. This is kinda like Randomness my other humor kinda story but in the other deminsion
1. 1 What's in a name?

_**This story is from me and my best friend's alternate Twilight universes to find out more about it check out my profile. Oh and most of these names were chosen by my best friend.**_

Carlisle-DocterEvil Esme-CollardPLATe

Nessie-Werepire Jacob-Rawrwolf

Bella-Belli-Elli-Kinz Jasper-TexasHottie

Alice-PinkPixie Emmett-TeddyRoosevelt

Edward-CookieMonster

-DocterEvil has signed in-

-TexasHottie has signed in-

-CookieMonster has signed in-

-TeddyRoosevelt has signed in-

CookieMonster: Hey TexasHottie lol.

TexasHottie: It's not my fault blame Bella! And your one to talk CookieMonster rotfl.

CookieMonster: It was your daughter!

TexasHottie: Lol note to self bump up her allowance.

CookieMonster: Hey!

DocterEvil: Now children lets not fight!

TeddyRoosevelt: Whateves Doctor E.

DocterEvil: Alice pick that for you Teddy?

TeddyRoosevelt: Nope! Teddy is my favorite president!

CookieMonster: You weren't even alive then I was barely alive then.

TeddyRoosevelt: Oh poo!

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed in-

TexasHottie: Hey darlin.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Hey Jazzy or should I say TexasHottie *sinkers*

TexasHottie: You're the one who chose my name.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Whateves!

-Werepire has signed in-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Werepire of all the names Nessie Werepire?

Werepire: Showing my love for Jakey!

-Rawrwolf has signed in-

Rawrwolf: Nessie Rawrwolf are you kidding me?  
Werepire: I love it your Rawrwolf and I'm Werepire cute huh?

Rawrwolf: No!

-PinkPixie has signed in-

PinkPixie: Apologize to my niece right now! –Has vision- Thank you!

-PinkPixie has signed off-  
Rawrpire: Do you ever get tired of her?

CookieMonster: Yup!

-CollardPLATe has signed on-

CollardPLATe: NESSIE!

Werepire: Don't you just love your name?

CollardPLATe: I can't even eat collards and it's kind of corny.

Werepire: Whateves grandma.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: I like cheese and crackers-ackers-ackers.

TexasHottie: Darlin you can't eat cheese or crackers.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Spoil my fun why don't you!

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed out-

TexasHottie: Bella I'm sorry!

-TexasHottie has signed out-

Werepire: Mommy?

-Werepire has signed out-

Rawrwolf: Nessie I'm not done with you yet. NESSIE?

-Rawrpire has signed out-

CollardPLATe: Don't you just love our family?

DocterEvil: I love you more.

CookieMonster: I'm just going to go now…

-CookieMonster has signed out-

CollardPLATe: What do you saw we take this somewhere else?

-CollardPLATe has signed out-

-DocterEvil has signed out-

TeddyRoosevelt: Hello?

TeddyRoosevelt: Anyone?

TeddyRoosevelt: I guess I'll just talk to myself.

TeddyRoosevelt: Hi me what's going on?

TeddyRoosevelt: Nothing much Ooooo a red jeep!

- TeddyRoosevelt has signed out-


	2. 2 Mr Pres & Auntie Rose

-PinkPixie has signed on-

-CollardPLATe has signed on-

-Werepire has signed on-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed on-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Nessie did your class watch the president's speech yesterday?

Werepire: Yup it was cool!

PinkPixie: All except for one part!

CollardPLATe: What would that be Alice?

PinkPixie: He said something was greater than fashion!!

Werepire: Gosp! That's horrible!

PinkPixie: I know Right?

Werepire: I was being sarcastic.

PinkPixie: Oh…

-TeddyRoosevelt has signed in-

PinkPixie: Hey Em!

TeddyRoosevelt: Hey babe!

PinkPixie: We were talking about the president!

TeddyRoosevelt: Coolz!

-M_to_the_N has signed in-

M_to_the_N" Hey where's Edward?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Um idk what are you ewven doing on our IM?

Werepire: Yea this is our president chat!

M_to_the_N: Wasn't Beyonce on there?

PinkPixie: She was supposed to be there. Why?

M_to_the_N: Because she's awesome!

TeddyRoosevelt: Aw does little Mikey have a crush on the great big superstar?

-M_to_the_N runs away-

TeddyRoosevelt: Wtf! I am not scary!

-TeddyRoosevelt runs and cries in the corner-

PinkPixie: That's weird I'm going to go check on him.

-PinkPixie goes to the corner-

CollardPLATe: It's supposed to say has signed off what's its problem!

-CollardPLATe stormed off mad-

Werepire: So I gots a question Mommy!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Yes?

Werepire: Where did Auntie Rose go?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: We don't talk about her around here.

Werepire: WHY?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Because she died!

Werepire HOW?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Um idk she's just dead!

Werepire: Ok.

-Girl_In_Red has signed in-

Girl_In_Red: I ain't dead!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Well this ain't your story so get out of it. OK!

-Girl_In_Red disappears in a puff of smoke-

Werepire: Well that was odd I'm going to go do my homework.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Ok bye Nessie.

-Werepire has gone away-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: What is your problem!

-TexasHottie has signed in-

TexasHottie: Hey Bella were going hunting.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: What if I don't want to.

TexasHottie: Then I'll pick you up and carry you.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: That sounds like fun!

TexasHottie: Bella I'm not carrying you.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: But…Fine give me a human minute!

TexasHottie: But you're not human.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Ok give me a vampire minute god!

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has gone to have a minute-

- TexasHottie has gone to make sure it's only a minute-


	3. 3 crystal light crack

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed in-

-Werepire has signed in-

-TexasHottie has signed in-

-PinkPixie has signed in-

-Rawrwolf has signed in-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Hey Nessie!

Werepire: Yo, Yo what up mommyo!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Who gave my daughter crack? Was it you Jacob?

Rawrwolf: What? NO!

TexasHottie: I knew he was a bad influence.

Werepire: Crack comes in the form of pink lemonade crystal light and 5 gum!

PinkPixie: What? Who gave my niece crack in the form of crystal light and gum?

Rawrpire: Ok that WAS me…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Seriously Jacob! Ooooo fruit punch crystal light is really, really good!

TexasHottie: Darlin, you're a vampire you can't drink any type of crystal light.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: It's muh blood!

TexasHottie: No Bella! I forbid you to have anymore crystal light you to Nessie!

Werepire: Whateves Dad-Pire!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Whateves Husband-Pire!

-Werepire has signed off-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed off-

TexasHottie: What! Oh no there going to the store where they sell a lot of crystal light!

PinkPixie: Well don't just sit there run! –Has vision- *giggles* I meant after them!

-TexasHottie has signed off-

Rawrpire: What was that all about?

PinkPixie: Instead of running after them he got on the treadmill!

Rawrpire: …Ok…

-DocterEvil has signed on-

DocterEvil: Why is Jasper chasing Bella and Renesme down the driveway?

PinkPixie: Bella and Nessie went to get crystal light that makes them super hyper like there on crack!

DocterEvil: That's nice.

Rawrpire: Um, really?

DocterEvil: What do you think? My granddaughter is on crack! And my daughter-in-law is drinking something other than blood and calling it blood! What do you think!

Rawrpire: That you're not fine?

DocterEvil: No, I'm good.

Rawrpire: Ok I'm going to go. Leave this Bi-polar family.

-Rawrpire has signed off-

PinkPixie: Do you think were Bi-polar Carlisle?

DocterEvil: What do you think? I keep yelling then not!

PinkPixie: Um, ok well bye?

-PinkPixie has signed off-

-DocterEvil has signed off-


	4. 4 Yelling at Nessie

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed on-

-TexasHottie has signed on-

-Werepire has signed on-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Jazzy I really need you to take my side on this one.

TexasHottie: On what one?

Werepire: Mom, please!

TexasHottie: I feel like I'm missing something.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Do you think your daughter is too young to date?

TexasHottie: Well technically she is only like 4. Why?

Werepire: Mommy! Please, please, please!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: She made out with Jacob for 20mins.

TexasHottie: What! Where were you during all of this?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: In the same parking lot as them turned around freezing to death.

TexasHottie: I'm going to pretend you can actually freeze. WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HER?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: That's mean!

TexasHottie: So, what you want me to not be mad?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No, I want you to ground her!

TexasHottie: I'm really confused…

Werepire: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssseeeeeee with a cherry and peaches and blood on top!

TexasHottie: Renesme Carlie Cullen you are grounded!

Werepire: Well can I go hunting first?

TexasHottie: Yea sure.

-Werepire has logged off-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Idiot!

TexasHottie: What did I do?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: She just ran to Jacob's house!

TexasHottie: Oh…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Well we shall blame it on Emmett!

TexasHottie: Ok!

-PinkPixie has signed on-

PinkPixie: Don't be blaming stuff on my Emmy!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Neh!

PinkPixie: And stop stealing my secret stash of Crystal light I got it for Emmett!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: He stole my Crystal Light obsession! Shame to the you!

-Rawrwolf has signed on-

Rawrwolf: Why is Nessie and my house, crying, and saying she shall never see me again?

-Werepire has signed on-

Werepire: I told you not to tell them!

Rawrwolf: Sorry, Nessie.

TexasHottie: So help me I will cross that treaty line!

Werepire: Oh shush up I'm coming home. J is being mean.

-Werepire has signed off-

-Rawrwolf has signed off-

-PinkPixie has signed off-

TexasHottie: Come on darlin.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Right behind you!

-TexasHottie has signed off-

- Belli-Elli-Kinz has signed off-


	5. 5 Super bowl

-TeddyRoosevelt has signed in-

-Werepire has signed in-

-Belli-Ellie-Kinz has signed in-

TeddyRoosevelt: Woooooooo!

Werepire: Awww!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz:????

TeddyRoosevelt: He was all run and like score and like Woooooooo!

Werepire: They were all cute and like woof and like Awww!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: He was all woo! And you were all Awww and I'm like confused!

TeddyRoosevelt: The Super Bowl! Duh!

Werepire: The Puppy Bowl! Duh!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: I was hunting so I didn't watch either! Duh!

TeddyRoosevelt: Why are we copping each other?

Werepire: Dunno.

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: How about let's stop?

TeddyRoosevelt: Yup!

Werepire: Ok!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: …..

TeddyRoosevelt: Woooooooo!

Werepire: Awww!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: Oh shut up!

TeddyRoosevelt: Forget it!

Werepire: No!

- Belli-Ellie-Kinz has signed out-

Werepire: How rude!

TeddyRoosevelt: Ow! Ow! Ow! She's got my ear Oww!

- TeddyRoosevelt has signed off-

-PinkPixie has signed on-

PinkPixie: OMG did you see that he was like free Doritos and then he was like throw and the other guy was like grab!

Werepire: What?

PinkPixie: And the other guy was like promotion and he was like throw and boss we like Ow and other guy was like no promotion for you!

Werepire: Confuzzled?

PinkPixie: And there was a scare crow on a power line!

Werepire: I'm going to go now…

-Werepire has signed off-

PinkPixie: How rude!

-TexasHottie has signed in-

TexasHottie: Why is Bella annoyed, Nessie confused, Emmett scared, and oh wait Bella is evil and your mad?

PinkPixie: Well I'm not sure about Bella and Emmett though we might want to check on them. But Nessie is confused because I was all Free Doritos! Promotion! OW! Scarecrow! And Nessie was all confused? Bye? And yea she left so I'm mad!

TexasHottie: How nice well I'm going to check on Em and Bella now!

PinkPixie: ME TOO!!!!!

-TexasHottie has signed off-

-PinkPixie has signed off-

-TeddyRoosevelt has signed on-

TeddyRoosevelt: And then they were like Whoa! That was great…

- TeddyRoosevelt has signed off-

_**I was trying to do current events but I forgot about this one from January so here it is also I don't remember writing this and it really isn't that good so sorry.**_


	6. 6 My friends meet the Cullens

**My friends meet the Cullens**

_Emmett_obsessor13-Hope Ommie_Your_Hommie-Omar_

_Bbbff1996-Breanna (me obviously) SlezzyLezzy-Lousia Rose_

_Edward108-Michael Riah365-Mariah_

_I_Hate_Twilight-Jody Jacob_Black's_girl-Sylvie_

_PinkPrincess-Caroline CaptainObvious-Khelid _

_PeppyPixie-Rachel MotherlyLove-Bailey_

_Oh_My_Dosh/Just_like_Jasper-Josh_

-Emmett_obsessor13 has logged on-

-Bbbff1996 has logged on-

-PeppyPixie has logged on-

-PinkPrincess has logged on-

Emmett_obsessor13: OMG Bre this is the bomb!

Bbbff1996- I know right!

PeppyPixie: I love this!

PinkPrincess: I our user names too were so awesome!

-Oh_My_Dosh has logged on-

Oh_My_Dosh: Breanna! Why the heck is my username Oh_My_Dosh?

Bbbff1996: It's an awesome username!

Oh_My_Dosh: No it's not! Change it!

Bbbff1996: Fine!

Bbbff1996: Ok log back in.

-Oh_My_Dosh has logged out-

-Just_Like_Jasper has logged on-

Just_Like_Jasper: This isn't any better!

Bbbff1996: Yes it is!

-Jacob_Black's_Girl has logged on-

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Hey girl hey! Love my name, thanks!

Bbbff1996: You're welcome!

-Edward108 has logged in-

Edward108: Hey!

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Hey Mi!

Edard108: I'm not Mi I'm Edward!

Just_Like_Jasper: Sure… you just keep telling yourself that…

-PinkPixie has logged on-

-CookieMonster has logged on-

-Rawrwolf has logged on-

-TexasHottie has logged on-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged on-

-Werepire has logged on-

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged on-

Bbbff1996: What are you guys doing on our Chatzy?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Why are you guys on _our_ Chatzy?

Bbbff1996: There must be some misunderstanding but we can all stay here can't we?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: I don't see why not! I'm Bella Swan.

Bbbff1996: Oh my gosh your kidding right?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Um no??

Bbbff1996: It's just that Bella is…

Emmett_obsessor13: Is only in the most awesome book ever!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: -sigh-Yes that's me.

Emmett_obsessor13: Really?

TeddyRoosevelt: Yes really and I'm Emmett and why the heck are you obsessed with my?

Emmett_obsessor13: Oh my gosh it's Emmett! (Hope faints at her desk)

TeddyRoosevelt: Ok…Alice?

PinkPixie: Yea?

PeppyPixie: Oh my god Alice!

PinkPrincess: You are like our idol!

PeppyPixie: Were Soooo much like you!

PinkPrincess: Well we can't see the future Rach!

PeppyPixie: Whatever Caroline we're still a ton alike!

PinkPixie: Um that's so cool we should totally go shopping sometime.

PeppyPixie & PinkPrincess: Totally!

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Is Jacob here?

Werepire: Excuse me Miss Jacob_Black's_Girl! I'm Miss Jacob Black! Ok?

Rawrwolf: Nessie let's not kill the guests especially the guests that think I'm hot!

Werepire: Excuse me?

Rawrwolf: I mean go ahead.

Werepire: That's what I thought.

Edward108: Yea Jacob Sylvie is mine anyway!

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Excuse me?

CookieMonster: Edward108? I'm Edward! Ok? Me not you, me!

Edward108: You? CookieMonster?

CookieMonster: Talk to Nessie…

Just_Like_Jasper: Yea um Michael maybe you shouldn't mess with the vampires…

TexasHottie: Just like me huh? So you're empathic, from Texas and are over 100 years old?

Just_Like_Jasper: Um no?

TexasHottie: Well then you're nothing like me!

Just_Like_Jasper: Talk to Bre she did it not me!

TexasHottie: Bre?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Yea my new BFF!

PinkPixie: I'm being replaced??

Belli-Elli-Kinz- Of course not…

TexasHottie: So again I repeat. Bre?

Bbbff1996: That would be me.

TexasHottie: So you think this guy…

Bbbff1996: Josh.

TexasHottie: Yea Jim is like…

Bbbff1996: Josh!

TexasHottie: Jeff is like me.

Bbbff1996: It's Josh for crying out loud and yes he's like you cause…cause…

Just_Like_Jasper: Were both awesome!

TexasHottie: Ok I'll go with that!

-CollardPLATe has logged on-

-MotherlyLove has logged on-

MotherlyLove: Oh come on Bre! 1. What the heck is up with this name and 2. Why wasn't I invited to the Chatzy party?

CollardPLATe: I'm quite confused what's going on here.

TeddyRoosevelt: Nothing mom.

CollardPLATe: Sure I'll believe that…not. And Miss MotherlyLove you're not even a mother are you?

MotherlyLove: No I'm not but Bre thinks I'm like Esme from Twilight.

CollardPLATe: Oh no not another Twilight girl. I'm Esme.

MotherlyLove: Oh my gosh that's so cool but uh what's up with your name?

CollardPLATe: Don't ask.

MotherlyLove: Wasn't planning on it.

-I_Hate_Twilight has logged on-

I_Hate_Twilight: All of you guys are nerds! Twilight nerds!

-I_Hate_Twilight has logged off-

Bbbff1996: Ok…

-SlezzyLezzy has logged on-

-Ommie_Your_Hommie has logged on-

-Riah365 has logged on-

SlezzyLezzy: Hey Bailey Noah is at my house!

MotherlyLove: Of course he is…-sigh-

SlezzyLezzy: Well let's go!

MotherlyLove: But I don't wanna!

SlezzyLezzy: LET'S GO!

MotherlyLove: Fine!

-MotherlyLove has logged off-

-SlezzyLezzy has logged off-

Bbbff1996: Aw she didn't even to get to meet Carlisle!

CollardPLATe: Carlisle?

Bbbff1996: Yea we call her the generous one like Carlisle.

CollardPLATe: Well he is pretty generous.

Ommie_My_Hommie: Remind me again why I'm here?

Bbbff1996: Because this is the place for cool people and your cool right?

Ommie_My_Hommie: Yes!

Riah365: Um you guys scare me!

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Does everything scare you?

Riah365: No…

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Surrrreee….

Riah365: You're freaking my out!

-Riah365 has logged out-

-CaptainObvious has logged on-

CaptainObvious: This page has words!

Bbbff1996: Nah!

CaptainObvious: You're mean!

-CaptainObvious has logged off-

Ommie_My_Hommie: I think it's time for diner.

-Ommie_My_Hommie has logged off-

Werepire: I WANT TO GO HUNTING!!

Rawrwolf: You heard the girl time to go hunting!

Werepire: I've got an eye on you werewolf stealer!

Rawrwolf: Nessie!

-Werepire has logged off-

-Rawrwolf has logged off-

TexasHottie: Bye my awesome little friend!

Just_Like_Jasper: Bye?

-TexasHottie has logged off-

CookieMonster: YOU ARE NOT EDWARD!!!

-CookieMonster has logged off-

PinkPixie: We have to go shopping sometime ok? Call me!!!

PinkPrincess: We totally will!

PeppyPixie: Yep!! Can't wait!

-PinkPixie has logged off-

CollardPLATe: Well tell your motherly friend its ALL NESSIE'S FAULT and tell your slezzy friend to stick with her own boyfriend and stay away from MY Carlisle MINE!

-CollardPLATe has logged off-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: I don't want to leave but I must –sigh- bye my new BFFEILADITGAA. Don't tell Alice!

Bbbff1996: Um ok bye BFF.

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged off-

TeddyRoosevelt: Uh is Hope ok I mean she was creepy but her sill sees my hotness!

Bbbff1996: She'll be fine.

- TeddyRoosevelt has logged off-

PinkPrincess: Hey Rach wanna come over and watch Twilight?

PeppyPixie: Totally!

-PinkPrincess has logged off-

-PeppyPixie has logged off-

Edward108: I'm going to go. Sylvie, call me!

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Of course I will…

-Edward108 has logged off-

Jacob_Black's_Girl: Not! But anyway Eric is coming over to visit so I'll TTYL.

-Jacob_Black's_Girl has logged off-

Just_Like_Jasper: Hey, Bre, I'll text you later I've gtg.

Bbbff1996: Ok I do too.

-Just_Like_Jasper has logged off-

-Bbbff1996 has logged off-

Emmett_obsessor13: Ow I hit my head!

Emmett_obsessor13: Guys?

Emmett_obsessor13: Was I really out that long?

Emmett_obsessor13: I guess so…

Emmett_obsessor13: Oh my gosh I see a red jeep OMG it might be Emmett!

-Emmett_obsessor13 has logged off-

_**OK so how do you like this I was bored and so I wrote it. I was thinking of making a story about all my Friends and their counter-part character and each chapter would be a different person what do you think of that idea??? REVIEW!!!!**_


	7. 7 HAT DAY

_**Theatre people + Facebook = Tons of inspiration!**_

**Emmett-Josh**

**Alice-Nancy**

**Bella-Me**

**Esme-Kelseigh**

TeddyRoosevelt: WEAR A CRAZY HAT 2MORO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CollardPLATe: haha I cant decide what hat

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: I can't find a hat...

TeddyRoosevelt: then make one!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: How am I going to make a hat?

Teddy Roosevelt: with duck tape, stickers, a thermometer and a few small furry animals

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: .....wow Emmett......just wow

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: I found a hat that doesn't involve small furry animals

CollardPLATe: I have a sombrero and a cheese hat like the Green Bay packers have and then I have just a brown hat

TeddyRoosevelt: woo hoo!! CONGA!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: My hat is just plain....

TeddyRoosevelt: aw... hmmm... tape a stuffed animal to it.

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: lol it's Jasper's hat I doubt he would be very happy if I taped a stuffed animal to it....I wonder if I still have that other hat....... I'm going to go look….

-Later-

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: Can't decide what hat to wear....the original black fedora a sorta plaid Paige boy kinda hat or a fuzzy blue Paige boy hat

TeddyRoosevelt: all of em at teh same time

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: ok....

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: they won't all fit at the same time...

CollardPLATe: it's okay I cant decide either

PinkPixie: Oh, you guys just have the cutest hats. :D  
We'll need to take plenty of pictures tomorrow. XD

I can't decide, so I'll just bring both. :D  
I can't wear them at the same time, though. ._.**.**

**.. Unless... o_o;**

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: lol I'm bringing them all and I can choose then

PinkPixie: :D

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: I'm totally bringing my camera tomorrow:]

PinkPixie: :D  
I'm not sure what happened to my camera, so I guess I'll just... whip my phone out? XD;

Belli-Elli-Kinz: lol that would work


	8. 8 MUSTACHE DAY

_**The Following actually took place between me and my theatre friends: (I changed some words to fit the Cullens)**_

Alice-Nancy

Bella-Me

Emmett-Josh

Charlie-Tony

TeddyRoosevelt: Alice!!!!!!! We need to do another user run event at the house next week!!!!!!! Any ideas!?!?

PinkPixie: Hmmmmm. Well, the hat day was a success, for the most part. People participated, but most couldn't follow through, since they couldn't wear a hat aaaaall day.  
If we were to do another one, it would have to do with clothes instead of accessories, so they can keep them on all day. Like shirts. Or something. XD

... OR WE COULD HAVE A MUSTACHE DAY AND HAVE DRAWN-ON MUSTACHES. : DDD

TeddyRoosevelt: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG ALICE YOU ARE A GENIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: I am not drawing a mustache on my face!

TeddyRoosevelt: awwwww! Come on!!!!!!!!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: No!

PinkPixie: :DDD -bows- Thank you, thank you!

Bella, if you don't do it, we'll do it for you. C: C: C:  
And we'll make it a Hitlerstache. C: C: C:

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: No you will not! T

PinkPixie: YES WE WILL! D :

(what day is this going to be on, the tt Emme?)

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: NO!

PinkPixie: YES! :O

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: No I will bite you!

PinkPixie: -gets a rabies shot-

FINE! YOU'RE GETTING A MUSTACHE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. D :

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: You are not putting a mustache on me!!!!!!

TeddyRoosevelt: we shall and you know it.

How about Tuesday, Does that work?

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: No you shall not!!!!!!!!!!!

PinkPixie: Bella, what do you have against mustaches? : C

Emmett;  
Fine with me. :D Mustache Tuesday it is!

TeddyRoosevelt: can we find a happy medium?

PinkPixie: How about a goatee?  
Would you be okay with goatees? Or how about facial hair in general? Come on Bellaaaaaaaa. C:

TeddyRoosevelt: :)

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No! No facial hair

PinkPixie: You make Charlie sad.

TeddyRoosevelt: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Belli-Elli-Kinz: lol still not happening

PinkPixie: You make Burt Reynolds sad. D:

PinkPixie: You make... Burt Reynolds sad?

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: who???

TeddyRoosevelt: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: wow Emmett...

TeddyRoosevelt: it's funny!

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: who the heck is Burt Reynolds????

PinkPixie: He's an actor. XD With a mustache.

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: oh ok......

PinkPixie: So you see why you would make him sad.  
Do you want Burt Reynolds to be sad, Bella?

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: I don't want a mustache!!!!!!!!!!!

TeddyRoosevelt: HONK!!!!!!

PinkPixie: XD  
YOU DO BELLA. YOU KNOW YOU DO.

I'm debating between a goatee, a mustache, or kitty whiskers. You can't leave out the furries' facial hair

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Well even though I'm not doing facial hair you should do kitty whiskers it seems more you

PinkPixie: You are too doing facial hair, and we will force it on you if you decide otherwise. c:

And ehehehe, I feel like a cat. I wore a kitty hat for hat day and I'm going to have kitty whiskers for facial hair day.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No I will not unless every other Cullen does facial hair -which won't happen- I'm not doing it

PinkPixie: WE WILL DO IT. :D

-The Next Day-

Belli-Ellie-Kinz: HA you didn't get me :]

PinkPixie: OTL  
our plans have been thwarted…. _  
_

_Ok so Nancy & Josh put together a mustache day and this is what became of it and the HONK! Thing is from our play Honk! Jr. it's awesome!_


	9. 9 Every one makes music!

_Again this happened _ Esme-Emma Renessmee-Sydney Mike-Colby Tyler-Willie Rosalie-Annie Carlisle-Tony (Yes Tony was Carlisle was Charlie before but I changed it!) Eric-Blake PinkPixie: is a keyboard of bells. TeddyRoosevelt: and whistles...?

**PinkPixie:**

Hunh, I don't know...  
I was assigning instruments to everyone and Esme asked what I was...  
I told her I was a bell, but not a little one, and then she informed me of the existence of keyboards of bells.  
So I'm taking her suggestion and assigning myself as a keyboard of bells. :D

**TeddyRoosevelt:**

Nice. What is everybody else?

**PinkPixie:**

Well, I've only got a few so far.  
Esme is a cute acoustic guitar. Tyler is a shiny red trumpet. Bella is a redwood viola. Mike is a pair of shiny brass cymbals. Renessmee is a xylophone OR a mini snare drum.

C:

**TeddyRoosevelt:**

Nice

**PinkPixie:**

Thank you, thank you! -Bows- XD

**TeddyRoosevelt:**

Want some help on ideas?

**PinkPixie:**

XD  
Okay.

What would Emmett be? XD

**TeddyRoosevelt:**

A boom whacker!

**PinkPixie:**

XD  
A boom whacker you are, then. Which color/note? C:

**TeddyRoosevelt:**

Green, E

**PinkPixie:**

Okay!  
Also, Esme and I are stumped on Carlisle. What would he be? DX

**PinkPixie:**

And the list is now finished!!!

.

Esme - cute acoustic guitar  
Mike - shiny red trumpet  
Alice - keyboard of bells  
Bella - redwood viola  
Tyler - shiny brass cymbals  
Renessmee - xylophone or mini snare drum  
Rosalie - green or blue bass guitar  
Emmett - green boom whacker (E)  
Carlisle - pan flute or a gong  
Eric - funeral bells or sitar

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	10. 10 I'm a Seal, at Clumpies!

_**Part of this happened part I added.**_

**PinkPixie: **That was so weird today at Clumpies

**Belli-Ellie-Kinz: **Yea it was lol it was tons funny though. Brb I have to go help Jasper

**-Belli-Ellie-Kinz is AFK-**

**Werepire: **I'm a kitty!!!!!!!!!

**Werepire:** I'm a Seal!!!

**PinkPixie:** I'm a sea lion! Raaahhhh!

**Werepire: **So I'm a kitty seal? Or am I a seal kitty?

**PinkPixie:** Ohhh, good point. I'm not quite sure. Weren't you a duck somewhere in there, too?

**Werepire: **I don't think so. But I am the Duck Queen and I was the Monkey King. I'm feeling very type-cast.

**PinkPixie: **Would that make me a king or a queen? Or would it even be considered married into royalty because of the whole cross-species thing?

**Werepire: **I crown Mike as a swan. I'm a donkey (Duck mONKEY, get it? If not, get Comcast, you're too slow.) I'm a keen (King quEEN). You're a swan and will soon be roosting with Mike, so...

**PinkPixie: **-coughsputterlaugh- YOU'RE SO WITTY, NESSIE. XD

I don't wanna roost with Mikey, I don't even know how to spell his name correctly. ; lol

**Werepire: **I do (Sorry Jakey lol). Did you see what he and Tyler were doing when we were playing Ship, Island? If that's not enough for you, then you're too picky.

**PinkPixie: **XD IF THAT'S HOW HE ROOSTS, I'M LEAVING HIM.

**Werepire: **I'll play Penny.

**PinkPixie: **... o_o  
I... I don't... I have no words for this. What would Jacob say??

**Werepire:** …

**PinkPixie:** …

**-Werepire has logged out-**

**-CookieMonster has logged in-**

**CookieMonster: **omg u were so awkward at Clumpies

**PinkPixie: **Clumpies? Whatever do you mean? I was at no such place not eating ice cream and not being with Nessie or Bella.

Why, did you happen to be there or something? I wouldn't know.

;

**CookieMonster: **well it was my mistake. I just happened to see a seemingly random short person with sunglasses and a mustache... attempting to whistle. She was also incased in a small posse of random people... Hmmmmm... I'm stumped

**PinkPixie: **Whoa, interesting! If you run into them again, you better tell them to stop stalking you. D :  
I can threaten them for you if you want. Be all, "Whachu doin' reminding my friend of me and coincidentally being short and have sunglasses and a purple marker good for drawing on mustaches? I'll teach you to do that. D : and I don't mean I'm going to give you whistling lessons, because I'm not!"

**CookieMonster: **Um ok. U never brought food... onion head to school

**PinkPixie: **OTL  
I sowwy. I was going to, but then by the time I remembered, I was already in the car. DX WILL TOMORROW. -Stuffs her in my purse-

**CookieMonster: **haha k

**PinkPixie: **Okay, okay, she's in there. :D  
But that's not fair; you need to bring something, too. D;  
I feel weird bringing Food tomorrow if I'm the only one bringing a stuffed animal/steamed bun head/thing. :

**CookieMonster: **but what should I bring?

**PinkPixie: **...._.  
I... I don't know. OTL

**CookieMonster: **what's OTL?

**Girl_In_Red**: Squint at it sideways.

**PinkPixie: **xD;  
You don't have to squint...  
Search it on Urban Dictionary.

Think this will help you understand.

**Belli-Ellie-Kinz: **I see it! I never got that before either lol.....

**Girl_In_Red: **Yarhar, never listen to Rosie

*ThumbsUpHere*

**PinkPixie: **XD  
Congrats, Bella! XD

Rose;

But... but...._.;


	11. 11 Avidite Conspiracys and Eating Emmett

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged on-

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged on-

-TexasHottie has logged on-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: I wrote a play!

TeddyRoosevelt: About what?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Avidité!

TeddyRoosevelt: ?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Avidité…

TeddyRoosevelt: Is that made up?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No! It's French!

TeddyRoosevelt: But but but

TexasHottie: Don't confuse him honey…

-Werepire has logged on-

-CookieMonster has logged on-

-PinkPixie has logged on-

Werepire: AVIDITE!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Yay!

TeddyRoosevelt: Why am I the only one who knows nothing of this avid-whatever?

Werepire: A-v-i-d-i-t-é! Get it right!

TeddyRoosevelt: Same difference!

CookieMonster: Actually…Avid means enthusiastic, Avidité means greed in French…

TeddyRoosevelt: Greed! Could no one have explained this before?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Nope.

Werepire: It's because we all secretly hate you…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: It's a conspiracy.

TeddyRoosevelt: You're conspiring against me?

CookieMonster: Yea Emmett of course we are…

TeddyRoosevelt: You are? I thought you loved me?

PinkPixie: Ugh stop making him confused!

TeddyRoosevelt: I'm confused?

TexasHottie: Yes! Very confused!

-TexasHottie has logged off-

TeddyRoosevelt: Jasper are you confusing me? Is it part of the conspiracy?

CookieMonster: There is no conspiracy Emmett!

TeddyRoosevelt: But Bella…And Nessie…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Telling him there's a conspiracy is part of the conspiracy! Shut up Edward!

Werepire: Yea! Shut up! Wait…there's actually a conspiracy?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Yus! Didn't you know on December 12 2012 vampires will rule the world! And they shall eat Emmett!

TeddyRoosevelt: They-They'll eat me –cowers-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Yus!

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged off-

Werepire: I thought the world was ending in 2012?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: That's what the Volturi wants you to think! Really we're going to rule the world and eat Emmett…

PinkPixie: I refuse to let you eat my Emmy!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Do you want to eat him? Cause that could be arranged…

PinkPixie: No! Ugh!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Then we shall have to eat you too…but don't worry we won't eat you till December 12 2012

PinkPixie: Why the specific date?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Because…The Volturi is very organized and it's Jane's birthday! Jane is very special you know.

PinkPixie: Um hmm that's great Bella…Now who told you this?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Nessie!

-PinkPixie has logged off-

Werepire: What!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: You did! You did! You said that vampires will rule the world when the world ends!

Werepire: That doesn't even make sense mom…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: It does! It does! Jane will end the world then we shall rule!

Werepire: Whatever you say…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: It's a Volturi conspiracy! We went over this!

Werepire: Yes but-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No butts!

Werepire: You mean buts?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Nope! I mean Butts like shake you're booty kinda butt…

Werepire: Be appropriate!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No! The world is going to end!

CookieMonster: It's the end of the world as we know it!

Werepire: I thought you said we'd take over?

CookieMonster: It's the end of the world as we know it!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Yus but…

CookieMonster: And I Feeeallll Fineeee!

Werepire & Belli-Elli-Kinz: Edward shut up!

-Werepire has logged off-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged off-

-CookieMonster has logged off-


	12. 12 Love Letters

-Werepire has logged on-

-CookieMonster has logged on-

Werepire: -Hysterical Laughter-

CookieMonster: Oh no Nessie what did you do?

Werepire: Jacob shall be jealous!

CookieMonster: ?

Werepire: You'll see!

-Rawrwolf has logged on-

Rawrwolf: Nessie! What did Edward do to you? Did he hurt you? I'll kill him!

Werepire: Edward???? What are you talking about?

CookieMonster: What?

Rawrwolf: You! Making moves on my girl! How dare you!

CookieMonster: I did what?!?

Rawrwolf: I got a note from you for Nessie.

CookieMonster: Wtf?

Werepire: Oh crap…mom…-sighs-

Rawrwolf: What?

Werepire: Did you actually believe that?

Rawrwolf: Why shouldn't I've?

Werepire: Because Bella and I wrote it…and she put from Edward I assume since I didn't….

Rawrwolf: What.

Werepire: Yea…So…Forgive me?

Rawrwolf: Oh just be glad you're my imprint and not my regular girlfriend.

CookieMonster: Was that a threat, dog?

Rawrwolf: Maybe towards you, leech.

Werepire: Oh. My. God. Seriously?!?

-CookieMonster has logged off-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged on-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Heyya!

Rawrwolf: Now you I can yell at!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: What I do?

Rawrwolf: Wrote that damn note 'from Edward'

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Oh…Yea…that was a joke…

Werepire: Yeah but it sorta pissed me off

Werepire: I'd say sorta was an understatement…

Rawrwolf: Nessie. Just Shh! Now Isabella…

-TexasHottie has logged on-

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged on-

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Jazzy! Save me!!!

TexasHottie: What did you do now?

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Nothing toooo bad…

Rawrwolf: Only wrote a note 'from Edward to Nessie' and gave it to me. A love not I might add!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Jazzy he's gonna eat me!

TeddyRoosevelt: Wasn't it you who was talking about eating me yesterday??

Belli-Elli-Kinz: That's different! Jazzzyyyyyyyy!!!!

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged off-

TexasHottie: -Sigh- Honey he can't eat you. Well he can you into little bits but…

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Well he's going to do that then! Gosh just save me!

TexasHottie: Oh in that case…

Werepire: Jakey?

-TexasHottie has logged off-

Rawrwolf: Yes my Nessie?

Werepire: Pwese don't kill my mommy.

Werepire: Pwetty pwese and paws.

Rawrwolf: ???

Werepire: Don't ask…

Rawrwolf: Ok fine but don't do it again! Either of you!

Werepire: I won't I promise!

Belli-Elli-Kinz:….

Rawrwolf: Bella.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Oh fine…I'll try to be good! Gosh

Werepire: Love you Jakey!

Rawrwolf: Love you too Ness.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Too bad she's cheating on you with Eddie…

Werepire: Mother.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Daughter.

Werepire: You are driving me insane.

Belli-Elli-Kinz: That's nice.

Rawrwolf: This is odd.

-Werepire has logged off-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged off-

-Rawrwolf has logged off-


	13. 13 Not this again!

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged on-

-PinkPixie has logged on-

-Belli-Elli-Kinz has logged on-

-Werepire has logged on-

-CookieMonster has logged on-

TeddyRoosevelt: You would not believe your eyes If ten million fireflies Lit up the world as I fell asleep

PinkPixie: Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city

Belli-Elli-Kinz: 'Cause they'd fill the open air and leave teardrops everywhere You'd think me rude But I would just stand and stare

Werepire: Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

CookieMonster: Um guys are you actually having a conversation or-

TeddyRoosevelt: I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly

PinkPixie: I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes Trying on all our clothes, clothes Boys blowing up our phones, phones

Belli-Elli-Kinz: It's hard to say that I'd rather stay Awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems

Werepire: Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs pulling up to the parties trying to get a little bit tipsy

CookieMonster: You people just get weirder and weirder!

CookieMonster: Tik Tok on the clock but the party don't stop no oh oh a oh!

-DocterEvil has logged on-

CookieMonster: AHHHH IT'S CONTAGIOUS!!!!

DocterEvil: What is? A super secret vampire bug? Another conspiracy is it?

Werepire: I'm talking bout everybody getting crunk crunk

PinkPixie: Boys try to touch my junk junk

Belli-Elli-Kinz: Gonna Smack 'em if they're getting to drunk drunk

TeddyRoosevelt: We gonna go till the kick us out out

CookieMonster: Or the police shut us down down

CookieMonster: DADDY SAVE ME!!!!!

DocterEvil: But it's catchy…hmm

DocterEvil: Po-po shut us down

-CollardPLATe has logged on-

-PinkPixie has logged off-

-TeddyRoosevelt has logged off-

CookieMonster: Esme!

CollardPLATe: What?

CookieMonster: Please put a stop to this madness!!!

CookieMonster: PLEASE!!!!

CollardPLATe: Oh ok

–reads past IMs-

NO one is touching anyone's junk or getting drunk or crunk or funk or whatever it if you kids are doing these days! AND you will stop this insanity this instant!

-CookieMonster has logged off-

DocterEvil: But Esme-

CollardPLATe: No buts Carlisle!

Belli-Elli-Kinz: No it's butts!!!!

Werepire: MOM!

DocterEvil: You could be my Mrs. DocterEvil

CollardPLATe: I already am…and you spelled doctor wrong

DocterEvil: I knew that…

CollardPLATe: No you didn't…and it's very sad because you are a doctor….

-DocterEvil runs to a corner to cry-

CollardPLATe: Oh not this again!!!!!

-Belli-Elli-Kinz runs off yelling butttttssss into the distance-

CollardPLATe: I don't even want to know…

-Werepire sighs and exits-

CollardPLATe: and now I remember why I never came back…

-CollardPLATe has left the building-


End file.
